


Reflecting Light

by B33skn33s



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 00:21:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19841623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B33skn33s/pseuds/B33skn33s
Summary: My take on what should have happened in Last Week Fights, This Week Tights





	Reflecting Light

Now that I’ve worn out  
I’ve worn out the world

He sat there, tuning out the bald man next to him, trying to enjoy his food. He watched his mom dancing with her new husband, trying to find it in him to be happy for her. It was hard, she was Liz after all, a couple months of being sober and picking up the phone wasn’t going to erase the previous nineteen years.

I’m on my knees in fascination  
Looking through the light

He thought it was a good idea to suggest this song to her for their first dance. He couldn’t get Rory off his mind, not that this was unusual, but after reading that book Luke gave to him he was thinking about things in a different light. He was starting to remember little moments they shared. This song, for instance, he remembered her saying once that she found it romantic. He couldn’t recall the context of the conversation, for all he knew they could have been reading on the bridge and she just said it out of the blue. She had a habit of that. He regrets the annoyed smirks he’d shoot her way when she would tear him away from the middle of a sentence with these meaningless outbursts. Meaningless is the wrong word to use, he regrets that choice as soon as he thought it. He misses those outbursts now. Wishing every quiet moment was filled with her laugh or silly musings.

And the moon’s never seen me before

But I’m reflecting light

He looked back at the dance floor. He saw Luke dancing with Lorelai. He looked happy. That made him happy, though he would never let on to that. He was glad that their relationship had gotten better. He was certain Luke would still push him in a lake given the opportunity. But, Jess also knew, after what he put him through, that was the least he deserved.

Deciding he could no longer feign interest in this man’s talk of his prison stay, Jess got up from the table, knowing there was something he had to do. The song stopped, and Liz walked over to the table just as Jess had stood up, afraid he was going to leave without saying goodbye.

“I’m not leaving, there’s just something I need to take care of before I go.” He was going to try out this communication thing. He couldn’t hide behind monosyllables and facial expressions for the rest of his life, the book had also taught him that.

Liz walked over and threw her arms around him, he hesitantly returned the hug with just one arm. One thing at a time. “Okay, but hurry back.”

He walked as fast as he could to his car, trying not to lose the momentum that had come out of nowhere. He didn’t know what he was doing. He didn’t know if she would be there, but he knew what he needed to do, what he had to do.

22.8 miles isn’t much of a trip, especially when your mind is on anything but the road.  
He got to the campus and mentally smacked himself. This place is huge. How was he going to find her? Then, as if fate decided to step in, he saw a petite brunette in the distance, walking with the Jolly Green Giant. He had to stay by his car for a few minutes, taking a few deep breaths, he wasn’t expecting to see her with him. He knew he could do this if it was just the two of them, but it wouldn’t be their story if everything went according to plan, or lack thereof.

He took note of the building they entered and after he had talked himself out of immediately sucker punching Dean, he walked towards it.

“What are you doing here?” It wasn’t her that asked the question and he once again had to talk himself down from a fight.

“I need to talk to you.” He ignored the lumberjack on his right and stared straight into her blue eyes, those eyes that haunted his dreams, his nightmares, his every waking moment.

She was quiet for a moment and he began kicking himself for doing this to her again. This wasn’t right. He showed up out of nowhere the last time and look how that ended. But then she spoke, and it was a shock to realize it wasn’t him she was speaking to.

“You should go.” He bit back a “HA” and silently stood, waiting for her to acknowledge him.

It took some more back and forth between her and Dean, while Jess remained there, silent and waiting. Finally, Dean stormed out, but not before grunting in Jess’ direction, doing his best to intimidate him. It wasn’t going to work. All his focus was on Rory. He couldn’t lose her again and he finally had the courage to tell her how he felt and stick around for the aftermath.

“What do you want Jess?” He deserved the ice in her voice. It wasn’t going to deter him from this moment.

“Come with me.” Well, he had a speech planned. It apparently didn’t feel like leaving the tip of his tongue. That’s all he could get out. He said it again.

“What? Where? Come with you? So, what? You can leave me again? But this time, alone, in some strange place?” Again, he knew he deserved this coolness in her voice. It was almost encouraging. At least she was speaking to him.

“Stars Hollow.” Wait. Did he just say that?

“You want me to go to Stars Hollow with you?” The ice was starting to melt.

“All your stuff is packed. I’m there for Liz’s wedding. My stuff is still there. I can take you back. I’d suggest talking in the car but everything that needs to be said would take us to Kansas and I don’t think you’re willing to travel that far.”

“Are you drunk?” She wanted to laugh. But there was still a chill in her tone. She wasn’t going to let him get away with this.

“I know I screwed up Rory. I should have talked to you. I should have let you in. But I was a dumb kid! I’m still a dumb kid! But I’m trying now. I’m getting my life together. I meant it when I told you ‘I love you.’ I regret how I said it, but I wouldn’t take it back for anything. I want to be with you. I’m ready for this now. I’m ready to be what you need me to be. Please. Please, give me another chance. Give us another chance.”

“I…” She sat down on a box and put her face in her hands. She let out a tiny groan. When she looked back up at him, tears were pooling in the corners of her eyes. He hated that he was making her cry. Again.

“Jess. You hurt me when you left. When you pushed me away. When you refused to let me in. I meant what I said the day of my graduation. Assuming it was you not speaking on the other end of the line. I did love you. I think I still love you. But how can I know for sure you won’t leave again? You broke me once and I am still working on putting myself back together. If I say yes, and it happens again, I don’t know if all the pieces will fit back together this time. You don’t know how badly I wanted this. I dreamt of it in Europe. Of you coming back and us being together and being happy. But you didn’t come back. And when you did, you ran away again. So, tell me, how do you prove that you’re not going to break my heart again?”

It was Jess’ turn to be silent. He couldn’t give her that. He couldn’t make that kind of promise. He never intended to break her heart the first time.

“I can’t make that kind of promise, Ror. You know that. I can swear to you, up and down, that I have no intentions of hurting you again. But, I can’t make that promise to you. You just have to trust me.” He knew that wasn’t the answer she was looking for. But he also knew that he was being honest and that is all that mattered to him.

He was busy in his thoughts, knowing he probably made a mistake and should just see himself out. The silence had gone on for too long. They were both looking anywhere but each other. He was turning towards the door when,

“You’re giving up?” He turned to face her, was he imagining things, or had she moved closer to him?

“Jess,” She reached out and touched his leather-clad arm. He looked into her tear-filled eyes. He hated that he always seemed to make her cry. He reached up to wipe a stray tear that was sliding down her cheek. He hesitated. His fingers hovering in the air, unsure if this was okay. She closed the distance and put her cheek in his open hand.

He took the opportunity to bring her whole body into him. He held her like he was never going to let her go. He could feel the front of his t-shirt beginning to stick to his chest from her tears.

“Please don’t leave me again.”

He took her face between his hands and gently lifted it, so he could look into those blue eyes.

“I will always be by your side.”

Rory is the one that finally pulled away after what felt like both a second and an eternity.

“What now?” It was unrealistic to think everything could be solved with a confessional and tears. Especially for Rory. She had to have plans and there were lists to be made and details to perfect.

“Now? Now, we load up these boxes and get you home.”

“You know it is very convenient you came when you did. Why did I think I could take all this in one trip in my tiny car?” They had spent the last hour packing up both their cars and neither of them had much room left.

“I figured that’s what Dean was here for.”

“Wow. Only took you two whole hours to bring up Dean. I think this is a record. Ladies and gentlemen, if you please, Jess Mariano may have officially grown up.”

“Ha. Ha. I was coming in on bumpy ground I didn’t want the earth to open up and swallow me whole.” It was still rocky, but he was glad they were getting back to their old routine.

“If you must know, grandma set me up on an awful date and it was either call him to get me or die in a car crash with the ‘best drunk driver in Connecticut.’”

“Yikes.” He didn’t want to push the Dean thing. He had already come between them too much in the past. But it was still hard to shake that feeling in his gut any time she was around him or talked about him.

“He’s married now. To Lindsay. I don’t think it’s working out. I think he doesn’t want it to work out. I think he’s using me as an excuse for it to not work out. I’m an idiot. I don’t love him. I thought, maybe, I felt something for him again, but I think I just wanted to feel wanted again. I know you don’t want to hear this. But I know in the past Dean has been an issue for us and if we are going to try,” She gestured around vaguely with her hands, “this, again. I want to be honest from the start.” 

“He’s an ass.” He looked up at her and gave her the patented ‘Rory’ smile, the one he saved only for her, on rare occasions. He wasn’t going to argue with her over Dean, that was ancient history. He put an arm around her waist and brought her close to him. This was going to work. He was going to make it work.

“Here, here. Moving on. Did we get everything from my dorm? Is it home time?”

“It’s home time.”

They stared at each other for a few minutes. This was it. This was their new beginning. In the same old town. The details of which he would work out with Luke. New York was getting expensive anyway. Surely his uncle wouldn’t mind letting him crash while he saved up some money for a place of his own.

35 minutes later two cars pulled up in front of the Gilmore residence. Jess’ piece of rust on wheels pulled into the driveway first. He led the way out of New Haven, afraid that if Rory couldn’t watch his car the entire way, she’d think he was going to disappear again, even if half of her things were in his backseat.

“So, here we are. Home sweet home.” Jess nudged Rory’s sneaker with his own and fidgeted with his hands a moment, unsure of where to go from here. He hoped she wouldn’t change her mind. It may have been a short drive, but Gilmore’s minds work fast. She could already be regretting her decision to..

“Hey! Isn’t your mom’s wedding in the square? What are we still doing here!? I want to see Luke in a suit.” His thoughts were cut off by Rory dragging him by the arm down the driveway and towards the town square.

When they arrived the festivities still seemed to be in full swing. Though there was significantly more swaying than before he had left, even without the music playing. For a moment, Rory and Jess just observed everyone, not quite sure they were ready for the town to be involved in whatever they were doing. That moment was soon ended by Liz and TJ.

“I’m so sorry.” Jess whispered into Rory’s ear before she was swept up into Liz’s medieval bosom.

“My baby boy brought home a girl! A beautiful girl! Hello, beautiful girl, I’m Liz!”

Rory could swear Jess was turning 14 shades of red, a sight she had never seen before. She had to admit, she enjoyed it.

“Liz, Rory. Rory, Liz. Can you let her breathe now, Liz?”

“Rory? As in Lorelai’s Rory? This is the girl whose heart you broke last year??” With that Liz let Rory go, only to smack Jess in the back of the head.

“The one and only! But it’s being mended. It is so nice to meet you, Liz.” Rory said, rubbing the back of Jess’ head affectionately.

Lorelai and Luke found their way over to the foursome. Jess and Rory simultaneously eyeing Lorelai to make sure she wasn’t going to attack.

“Hey, Uncle Luke. Ms. Gilmore.” Jess nodded his head at the couple, showing off his famous smirk.

Luke chose to ignore his nephew. Lorelai glared. “What is going on here?” Now wasn’t really the place to discuss this, but Lorelai didn’t care about making a scene. She was ready to kick the little hoodlum’s ass and she wasn’t going to wait to do it.

“Mom, can we maybe discuss this, not in the town square?” Rory was already starting to turn red and didn’t want to have this conversation in front of the entire town. She knew the gossip mill was already in full swing, she didn’t want to give them even more to talk about. Her life wasn’t a Bonnie Raitt song.

Lorelai hesitated. She didn’t want to lose her steam for the hell Jess deserved. But she also didn’t want to start a fight and upset Rory. Quite a pickle she found herself in at the moment. Choosing her daughter’s happiness over her own moment of pleasure, she sighed and pulled Rory aside and towards the gazebo.

Liz and TJ wandered away towards a group of their circuit friends and Luke took this opportunity to talk to his nephew. Jess started in before Luke had a chance, however.

“So.” Luke was smirking. He knew that giving Jess the book would make a slight difference. He just didn’t know that it would take into effect this quickly.

“Wipe that smirk off your face or I’ll have to bring up what I saw earlier on the dance floor.” Jess knew that he shouldn’t give his uncle a hard time if he wanted him to agree to let him stay with him, but old habits are hard to break.

“Read any interesting books lately?” Luke couldn’t help himself.

“Dance any good waltzes lately?” Jess was the only one smirking, as Luke began to turn a lovely shade of red.

“Hey, Luke, I’m…” Luke clapped his hand on Jess’ shoulder, understanding how hard this was for his nephew and saving him the trouble.

“I know, kid. I know. It’s all forgiven.”

“Do you think, I could crash with you for a bit? I’ll help out in the diner as much as you want and look for a place of my own as soon as possible. I need to do this. It would be nice to eat real food again.” He was thinking about his apartment in the city. Apartment is a loose term. He was thinking about his dirty mattress in the city. That was housed in an even dirtier room, that he shared with 4 other guys. There was no way he could survive in that much longer.

The thoughts of his squalor were interrupted by Luke saying, “yes.” He knew it wasn’t going to be that simple, but he was happy to not have to put up a fight. He was saving this piece of information for a different moment but figured now was as good a time as any.

“I got my GED. In California. I wanted to tell you. But…you know me.” Jess looked down, scuffing his shoes against the pavement. He was trying but it still wasn’t easy.

Luke pulled Jess into a hug. “I’m really proud of you, kid. Really.” As quickly as the hug came, it ended. They may be working on becoming better versions of themselves, but they were still Luke and Jess.

Lorelai and Rory were sitting in the gazebo. They had been watching Luke and Jess talking, hugging, and awkwardly looking down at their shoes and rubbing the backs of their heads.  
“Hmmm, something is wrong here. Here, the Gilmore girls sit, in silence, while the diner men have a heart-to-heart in the middle of the street. Care to explain what is going on, spawn? And how we are suddenly living in an alternate universe? Is this some weird Freaky Friday thing? Did we switch bodies with Luke and Jess? Wait, no, I’m craving a cheeseburger, chili fries, and a vat of coffee. Definitely still a Gilmore. So. Spill, kid.”

Rory laughed at her mom and wondered why she thought this was going to be a scary conversation to have. She couldn’t hide anything from Lorelai and didn’t want to.

“Mom, I love him. And I know, you think he’s a punk kid and deserves to have his ass kicked from here to Woodbridge. But I believe him when he says that he wants this to work between us. I know it isn’t going to be easy but I’m willing to put in the work. I want this to work. I want it more than anything.” She told herself she wasn’t going to cry but she wanted Lorelai to accept this and be happy with her decision that the thought of her disapproving brought on the water works.

“Honey. I’m not going to tell you not to listen to your heart. It wants what it wants. If this is what you want, well, I’m not thrilled but I love you, kid and I just want you to be happy. But you listen, if he even THINKS about doing what he did to you again, you can’t stop me from hunting him down this time. And I can’t help if the whole town joins me, with pitchforks.”

“I really think he’s trying to be better. He started to open up, it was a little, but it was more than anything he’s said before. I don’t know what changed him but I’m not going to be the one to question it. I’m going to accept it and appreciate every second of it.”  
Lorelai bit her lip. “Well, maybe it isn’t my place to say. But I diddddd happen to maybe accidentally take a very small peek inside his bag, by complete accident I say, and I might have seen a book titled something along the lines of deserving love and maybe when I mentioned it to Luke he totally freaked out and now I’m realizing why those two are being totally Gilmore and, oh my god, they’re changing for us.”

“Luke and Jess are reading self-help books?” It was difficult to suppress the giggle that escaped. “Mom, we’re bad people. We shouldn’t laugh at this. A lot of people read self-help books. Oprah is a fan. Who doesn’t love Oprah?”

“Maybe that’s why Luke was so comfortable waltzing earlier.” Lorelai mused.

“I’m sorry, Luke can waltz?”

“Luke can waltz.”

“Wow, I cannot picture Luke waltzing.”

“Picture it, babe. It happened. There are probably pictures. Note to self, ask everyone with a camera at this wedding for copies of the pictures.”

“So self-help books helped Luke to waltz and Jess to come back. For good. I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling very Oprah-y towards these books, right now. Maybe we should read them. What do you wish to improve on? I, for one, think I could really benefit from learning how to take two more courses next semester. Grandpa could do it. I wonder if he read a self-help book.”

“That’s probably how he survives living with your grandmother. Oh rats, maybe those books aren’t so helpful after all.”

“Mom!”

“Sorry, sorry. I know this isn’t easy on you. Back to the topic at hand. The hoodlum. Here to stay, you say? While Luke and I sway. Last night, I slept in hay. Ooo, you want to play??”

“Oy vey.” Rory rolled her eyes and put her head on Lorelai’s shoulder. “Mom, I think maybe this conversation should be had after you’ve consumed enough food and coffee to soak up whatever Renaissance beverage you drank too much of.”

“Alas, fair maiden, down yonder to thy place where’st thy servith the burgersith and coffeeith.”

“Here, here! That is the second time I have said that tonight and I wasn’t even at this Renaissance wedding. Maybe I need coffee too. To Luke’s!”

Rory and Lorelai walked arm in arm across the square to Luke’s. They could see Luke and Jess inside, starting to stack the chairs on the table.

“Halt! Droppeth those chairsith and poureth some coffeeith for thine Gilmore girls.”  
“What the hell are you saying? It’s taken you all night to get into the Renaissance theme? Badly, I must say.”

Lorelai pouted. “You’re no fun.”

“Hi, Luke. Can we please have some coffee?”

“Rory! Hi! Of course! You can have whatever you want!”

“She’ll have a cheeseburger, chili fries, and lots and lots of coffee. And a doughnut. Okay, two doughnuts.”

Luke glared at Lorelai, sighed, poured two mugs of coffee and went back into the kitchen to make two cheeseburgers and chili fries. There was no arguing with these two. Tonight, was the beginning of something new for all of them, no sense in fighting it.

Jess had disappeared upstairs and reappeared when Luke stepped back into the kitchen. Without saying a word, he slid something across the counter in front of Rory. She was talking to Lorelai about her awful grandma setup and didn’t notice him at first. After a minute, he cleared his throat but said nothing else. He was slightly afraid of how Lorelai was going to react to his and Rory getting back together and thought it best to just keep his mouth shut until spoken to.

Rory heard Jess clear his throat and looked over, shocked to see him standing there. As if the last few hours had been a dream and he wasn’t really here, in the diner, in front of her, for her to call her own, again. She looked up at him and he eyed the counter, urging her with his eyes to do the same. She looked down and saw a white envelope, “Venice Beach Adult Learning” was printed in the upper left corner. Confused, she picked up the envelope. It was very thin, as if nothing was even inside. She lifted the flap and took out the single piece of paper it contained. She only had to look at it for a second before she screamed.

“Oh my god! Jess! I’m so proud of you! I knew you could do it!” She jumped out of her seat and ran behind the counter to hug him. He couldn’t hide the smile that crept onto his face the second she reached him. He didn’t care that Lorelai was sitting right there, staring at them.

Lorelai looked at Jess while Rory was hugging him. She saw something there that she had never seen before. He wasn’t brooding or smirking. He was smiling. A genuine smile. Who knew the punk had teeth? There was something else in his face though, as much as she wanted to ignore it. She didn’t want to only see the bad in him. She promised Rory she would give him a chance a long time ago and she never did. She was going to keep that promise now. If what his eyes were screaming was true, he was going to stick around this time. He loved Rory and there was no hiding it. Maybe he was changing, if it was true, who was she to deny Rory of this happiness? She had her own relationship to focus on. Relationship? Did she want to be in a relationship with Luke?

A burger and fries were placed in front of her at that exact moment. She looked up and into Luke’s eyes. Was she crazy? Did she see that same look in his eyes that he saw in Jess’ when he was hugging Rory? 

“Enjoy your hot plate of death.” Luke grunted.

“My hero.” Lorelai swooned, as Luke refilled her coffee.

“With a side of liquid death. Glad to aid and abed in your early visit to the grave. Rory, don’t have me arrested as an accessory when this stuff eventually kills your mother, okay?”

Rory giggled and walked back around the counter to sit in front of her own hot plate of death.

It was so good to be home.

**Author's Note:**

> There’s nothing much to say except I will always ship Rory and Jess forever


End file.
